


this is what happened

by pajamaprodigy



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Humanstuck, Sexual Harassment, unrequited Aranea Serket/Porrim Maryam
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-10
Updated: 2013-03-10
Packaged: 2017-12-04 20:32:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,036
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/714792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pajamaprodigy/pseuds/pajamaprodigy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I believe so hard in its reality that it is becoming slightly less fake before our very eyes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	this is what happened

**Author's Note:**

> sorry about how ooc this is. just...the idea that aranea wrote fanfics about herself was fascinating to me

She first kissed me in the middle of the street. She was walking me home from school, and it was the first day of november: just cold enough for sweaters, but not uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable at all.  It was beautiful, and there was all of this golden sunlight. <font color= white>it was overcast. and you were behind the gym. ~~you were telling her about how kankri liked latula even though it was a secret~~  That was when she kissed me. We were just crossing the street. She looked at me nervously, and then we were kissing. Her lips against mine. They were warm, active, dry, soft, emotional, volatile, fervid. This was what it felt like

when she kissed me.  ~~you kissed her. she looked at you kind of surprised and a little bit freaked out maybe. you walked back: 1,2,3,4, paces. she wiped her mouth and shuddered.~~

"Aranea," she said. She paused a little on the "n" and her voice was breathy at the end. ~~her voice was so sad, and something else. oh god -- it was something else too.~~

She kissed me again.

That's how it was. That's how it was. 

 ~~~~~~~~

Every day at school, she saved me a seat next to her in English. ~~she took another seat. usually she sat in front of you, but now she sat across the room.~~ I sat there, so close I could reach out and touch her. I did -- I grabbed her hand while the teacher talked about pronouns or sentences, and she gave me a little squeeze. I ran my fingertips along hers, feeling her slick black nail polish, and I felt the warmth underneath, and a little pulse, the pulse, the life of the girl I loved. ~~she had glared at you. no words. not even shaking her head. not at all. oh god you wanted to slip under your desk.~~

~~~~~~~~ 

~~she doesn't want you.~~

 ~~~~~~~~

No. She came over, and everything was ok. Vriska was in the kitchen, with a barely defrosted sausage and a frying pan full of water on the stove, and she laughed at it. She walked across the linoleum floor and took the frying pan and walked over to the sink. 

"Why are you doing this????????" Vriska whined. 

"Because this ss no+t ho+w yo+u co+o+k a sausage," said Porrim.

"8ut how do you?" 

So I got out a cookbook and read about sausages. I got out three: one for each of us, and I poked holes in some potatoes, and Vriska watched the sausages so intently; she didn't make any trouble at all. ~~you were so tired when you came home that you just let vriska boil the sausage in the water, and you stared at your math. she started crying when the sausage didn't fry and poured the water and sausage on the stove. she didn't come home with you, of course. she doesn't even talk to you anymore~~.

We had such a lovely time, the three of us laughing at the kitchen counter where the light is warm and there are no cobwebs. There are no cobwebs. ~~you spread crackers with peanut butter for Vriska, and she insisted on eating them under the huge table in the dinning room, that you hadn't used in ages. you sat there with her, just to feel a little less lonely; she wasn't listening~~. We laughed, and they thought my stories were funny and cool, so cool that they asked for more, and we all sat around the counter with your plates of potato and sausage. We washed the plates together, and Porrim's hand touched mine under the water. I grapsed it, and we kissed. Then we went back to washing dishes. Being together...it had only been a few weeks, but already it was part of your life, startline only in its normalcy. ~~at nine pm, you carried your little sister to bed and collapsed into yours. you lay awake as your mother yelled out in her sleep. you hoped she wouldn't try to talk to you, tell you how you weren't "doing enough for this family. why do i have to sit up there day after day, knowing that my house is going to ruin and that my daughters are doomed to be petty theives and criminals." you don't want to think about her. you don't want to think about what would happen if she knew about porrim. or what would happen if porrim knew about her~~

 ~~the shrug or maybe pity: they would both be so awful. you couln't bear it~~.

I decided to do some reading or maybe some writing. I wanted to read about pirates. I want us to be pirates together. I dream sometimes about us, about how I would take her into my crew and how we would be outlaws of the high seas. Us together. Us Us Us Us Us Us Us Us. Her.

 ~~she won't go.~~  

 No. No. N8. I have a girlfriend. Her name is Porrim Maryam. She loves me. 

 ~~no she doesn't. you don't~~.

~~~~~~~~

There is a whole ocean out there. Thick swells, two beautifully round and soft; I am between them. 

 ~~no you aren't. you are pretending. you are lying on your bed. you are alone. she is at home, sorting her dresses or doing her hair or something~~.

She almost ripples under me. Her hand, one of those narrow tides that will pull the uncautious wader out to sea, dashes between my legs, pulling me deeper into her, the nearly ecstatic rush of sex catching me and dragging me away from everything. everything but her. I am submerged in her body's wonder. 

~~it's your hand, not hers.~~

no. 

our panting mimics the rush of the ocean in its earnest fierceness. 

~~~~~~~~

~~she doesn't look at you anymore. you were never that close in the first place. it was a stupid idea. it doesn't work out like that in real life. people don't just fall in love because you kiss them. you idiot.~~

~~~~~~~~

I have a journal with a blue cover. I have a blue fountain pen. I write the story of my life. No one else. I do. 

And I have her. 


End file.
